Machete is great fun. This movie is barely going to set the world on fire, but if you’re looking for good boysey fun, blood, breast and bikes, Machete has it all. In comparison to the highly disappointing Expendables in particular Machete really does stand out as a great action film.
The basic plot is that Danny Trejo used to be a Federal, an elite Mexican cop who was double crossed by the corrupt officials with drug lord Torrez, played by Seagal, murdering his wife. After crossing the Mexican border he is hired by Booth (Fahey) to assassinate the anti Mexican senator McLaughlin (DeNiro). However he is double crossed and left for dead and over the film a conspiracy unfolds reaching all the way to the senator himself and even Torrez as Machete gets his revenge.
Machete clearly fulfils on its action quota, and some of its deaths are actually laugh out loud in their farcicality. In comparison to recent action films such as Iron Man 2, in which I’ve found myself skipping through the fights, Machete had enough about it to keep me engaged throughout. Costing only $20 million it certainly makes its budget go a long way, and with a star-studded cast featuring Alba, Rodriguez, Lohan, DeNiro and co its budget is even more impressive. It is pure exploitation though and people may question the merits of such a genre but the film is to be taken as a bit of fluff and as a sheer genre piece it certainly delivers. However if you’re the type to get offended at a naked girl pulling a phone out of her vagina then you wanna give this a miss.
Apparently this film was first on the agenda in 93 with the release of Desperado, and considering that Rodriguez does a good job of reigning it in and its 97 minute running time is perfect, keeping the narrative tight enough throughout. The film doesn’t have much of a plot, but it’s enough to tie the exploitation bits together into something coherent and that’s all you can expect from such a film. Luckily it doesn’t look like Planet Terror throughout either with the cut up film throughout and the scratchy effects on screen, this really annoyed me in Grindhouse and its good to see it go. Its also full of fantastic one-liners, and wonderfully cheesy dialogue “You just fucked with the wrong Mexican”, would raise a chuckle in anyone.
Despite it being “exploitation”, though, the acting was a bugbear for me. I’m not a fan of Seagal, there is something punchable about his wide gated frame and ridiculous pony tail, and every minute he’s on the screen I do feel slightly irritated. Alba delivers a typically wooden performance. This is nothing compared to Michelle Rodriguez however. She seems to play exactly the same character in everything, whether it be in the Fast and the Furious, or Lost, she plays the “badass chick with a bad attitude”. I actually groaned when I saw her pug faced demeanour materialize at the IMAX when I was watching Avatar, and her scenes when attempting a bit of raillery with Alba are just abject.
Lindsay Lohan however is a bit of a surprise. I think she is a good actress, obviously dogged with personal problems she’s not been in a film for 4 years now. She was very good in Mean Girls and Herbie, and we see flashes of that again in Machete, and for her fans she is naked for extended sequences in this film. I was quite surprised she agreed to play a Junkie for elements of the film and considering her transformation by the conclusion it is a nice comic turn. Anyway when she comes out of Jail with any luck she can get her head together and make a comeback, she is talented and I hope she doesn’t drown. Fahey also plays the character of Booth with a good gruff countenance and equips himself quite well in the role. Danny Trejo is ok as the lead, he certainly looks the part of a battered cop, and grunts lines such as “Machete don’t text”, with aplomb. I found myself wondering at points who was more leathery out of him, Mickey Rourke and Kurt Russell.
In the end the film doesn’t have much depth to it outside of its rather heavy handed immigration message, but its an exploitation thriller, its not supposed to, and as a piece of that genre its great. Rodriguez is much better than Tarantino at this sort of cartoonish fun, seen in the lauded From Dawn Till Dusk or Planet Terror. I highly recommend this and give it;
7 out of 10, (would have got 8 but Michelle Rodriguez is in it)
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